Memory Lane
Today brought on sadness, feelings that I do not enjoy because the pain grips my whole being, opens up my sensitive heart and reveals the open wounds of sudden loss all over again. We drove up the long winding roads that led back close to the place where God took my brother Les. I recalled the night so clearly, the part where we were on our way to the function and then the opposite side of the highway, the road I drove back on after seeing my brother for the last time. I recalled the phone call from my twin who was with him at the time, the repeated high-pitched helpless screams, telling me that Les was dead. Then the long haul back only two hours later to witness my brother’s lifeless body fully covered under a silver blanket. Then to my sister who was standing in the cold night, clinging onto her cigarette, shivering and shaking out of control, both of us holding onto each other, sobbing aloud in total disbelief. I remembered holding onto my brother’s cold and lifeless hand that was lying outside of the blanket, as I prayed for God to be with him. Then the silent drive back home, save for the sobs and sniffles. Then back on the same road again to lay a wreath at the site of the accident. It all came back, a harsh and extremely painful reality check. However, I managed to hold back my tears because I realized that I needed to call on God my Father. I called for Him and asked Him to be close, to comfort me. Almost immediately, my thoughts deviated to other avenues and after a while, I realized that I was not thinking about the ugliness of that night anymore. God had replaced my hurtful memories with other thoughts. He reminded me about truths of that night, of where Les is because of the choice he made about two hours before he died, he was taken home after giving his heart to God. Memory lane can be dangerously painful but if you have God alongside, He will endure that pain for you. Although I miss my singing partner, my cowboy brother, I know where he is because of God’s comforting message on that tragic night.
REFLECT
Memory lane can be a scary reflection
If we dwell on the sad the bad and loss
Reminiscing can distort future direction
If we continue to hold and gather moss
So come now let’s only remember the good
And look forward to any trial or tribulation
Let us understand to be understood
That in Jesus there is hope and jubilation
PSALM 71:5 (NKJV)
“For You are my hope, O Lord God”
Today brought on sadness, feelings that I do not enjoy because the pain grips my whole being, opens up my sensitive heart and reveals the open wounds of sudden loss all over again. We drove up the long winding roads that led back close to the place where God took my brother Les. I recalled the night so clearly, the part where we were on our way to the function and then the opposite side of the highway, the road I drove back on after seeing my brother for the last time. I recalled the phone call from my twin who was with him at the time, the repeated high-pitched helpless screams, telling me that Les was dead. Then the long haul back only two hours later to witness my brother’s lifeless body fully covered under a silver blanket. Then to my sister who was standing in the cold night, clinging onto her cigarette, shivering and shaking out of control, both of us holding onto each other, sobbing aloud in total disbelief. I remembered holding onto my brother’s cold and lifeless hand that was lying outside of the blanket, as I prayed for God to be with him. Then the silent drive back home, save for the sobs and sniffles. Then back on the same road again to lay a wreath at the site of the accident. It all came back, a harsh and extremely painful reality check. However, I managed to hold back my tears because I realized that I needed to call on God my Father. I called for Him and asked Him to be close, to comfort me. Almost immediately, my thoughts deviated to other avenues and after a while, I realized that I was not thinking about the ugliness of that night anymore. God had replaced my hurtful memories with other thoughts. He reminded me about truths of that night, of where Les is because of the choice he made about two hours before he died, he was taken home after giving his heart to God. Memory lane can be dangerously painful but if you have God alongside, He will endure that pain for you. Although I miss my singing partner, my cowboy brother, I know where he is because of God’s comforting message on that tragic night.
REFLECT
Memory lane can be a scary reflection
If we dwell on the sad the bad and loss
Reminiscing can distort future direction
If we continue to hold and gather moss
So come now let’s only remember the good
And look forward to any trial or tribulation
Let us understand to be understood
That in Jesus there is hope and jubilation
PSALM 71:5 (NKJV)
“For You are my hope, O Lord God”
No comments:
Post a Comment