Left in 2003!

My dear mother passed away from Lukemia on the 31 January 2003, after many months of suffering. By destructive means, my mother was somewhat distant from me for many years, a distance that I could never understand. It caused deep pain, pain caused by feelings of rejection and visual knowledge of favouritism.

However, God was instrumental in her last seven months as He drew her and I closer than we had ever been. She cried many tears, regretted much, with many truths unveiled. She shared things that I will take to the grave with me, and I have God to thank for saving me from revengeful truths.

I miss her so much and would love to share where I am in my life today, with her. She was instrumental in bringing me to God, as you may have read in a previous post on my blog. I know it is said that time heals, but I can honestly say, that when you need someone you need them, and when they are not there to respond to that need, it hurts, really bad. This is a poem I wrote for her whilst I watched her slowly withering away. I read it to her in her hospital bed:

IF
If I could give you health
And take away your pain
I would do it with stealth
And rejoice in your gain
If I could give you more years
And be with you in all
I would take away your tears
And with you stand tall
If I could turn back time
And fill you with joy
I would make you feel fine
And let you enjoy this new ploy
If I could stop you being sad
And give you a life so bright
I would make you so glad
And help you enjoy this new plight
If I could I surely would
And I would do it all
But I think it’s time I should
Respect that maybe it’s God’s call
If I could know this for sure
And be at peace about you
I would know no better cure
Is ever going to do
If I could hear God’s voice
And see his beautiful smile
I would know it’s the best choice
Cause to him you’re so worthwhile

ACTS 5:39
“But if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it”