DESIRES OF THE HEART!

From as far back as I can remember, I have enjoyed the sounds that guitars produce, be them bass, electric, aucostic, bango and so on. Hence my hooked on guitar CD's. Howewver, it never dawned on me that I could possibly play so it never happened that I attempted to learn.

And, I have always loved music, from childhood up till now. I sing at any given opportunity, be it a singalong with songs on the radio, or in melody with a song on CD, or in melody with the leader of our worship team and so on, I just love to sing.

Then, writing is a gift I've accepted, acknowledged and love. I write Christian inspirational for my Redeemer Jesus Christ. One of my loves of writing is poetry and songwriting. Although with my songwriting, I am unable to put music to most which is very frustrating. When I have sought help it turns out that people take my words for their own benefit and claim them as theirs, so I have been put off asking for help. My songs are written from deep emotional aspects of my life and it is my desire to sing them myself, not to pass on for others who would not sing with the same depth and understanding I would.

Right, now that all my cards for this story are on the table, I can share what I really want to.

I asked at church if anyone had an old aucostic guitar lying around that I could borrow and try learn to play. Sean said yes and so brought it in for me to use. I was so very excited when I carried it off to my car to take home. My intention was to teach myself over the internet cause I am not able to afford lessons. I happened to mention this to Daan who is a renowned musican at church and he invited me for lessons with him... for free. Whoopee!

So, I am learning the instrument that I love the most and am praying that God will make it possible for me to learn and play.

I am sure this is what God intends for us to do, to pick up on desires that He lays on our hearts so that He can enjoy as we learn. I believe that the way this all happened is from God, that He placed the appropriate people in my path for His benefit because, as the Creator of all, I know that He enjoys music and would love for me to play and sing and continue to write more songs, to glorify His almighty and awesome name. I say this cause all the songs I have are about Him and His presence in my life.

Thank you Lord for the gifts You bestow on us, for the Creator that You are and for Your love of us as we live to glorify Your amazing name. InJesus name I pray, amen.

NO CHOICE!

Yesterday I made history as I received my first traffic fine, first that I can ever recall that is.

We have been living here in Durban for nearly six years and we drove down here in our two Zimbabwe registered vehicles. They were fully paid for at the time so we figured that it was worth importing them because we would not be able to afford new ones.

We arrived with the good intentions of registering our vehicles as soon as possible, after sorting our residency first that was. Well, that cost a load of money so we had to wait a while to get more money in. So, we put our priority's in order, we'd buy a house and thereafter we would sort our cars out with the monies left over, however, there was none left, we just made the deposit requirement. Okay, so our residency was in the process of being sorted and was paid for, we now had a house which offered a level of security, so the wait was on for the little extra to sort our cars.

Then we started having real bad money problems, to the point a church was helping us with groceries and school fees, so the wait was on again. We had no choice, we were unable to do anything with our cars. The law is that if a vehicle is not licensed, you should not drive it, well, we had no choice, we had to step out of line with the law because if we stopped driving, we would have stopped living. So we basically drove around just praying that we would not get caught. We prayed but did not think about God's hand continuously over our cars, we just took it for granted and did not think to give specific thanks on a regular basis, but still prayed.

This situation prevailed for over five years, I would get the documents in order and be ready to submit them, believing it was all go with the money ready, then wham, we'd hit another financial dilemma. During all this time, we were never stopped by the police, even though we passed through many road blocks, somehow they just never bothered with us, until this last week. I was the only car on the road and they had no body else to stop so I was it. I was asked if the vehicle was licensed and I could of easily lied but I find the truth much easier to tell. The truth earned me a R600.00 fine, which upset me profusely.

Anyway, later on in the day, I found myself giving thanks for this being the first and only time in the past five years, for being protected for so long. I decided to get to the licencing office that afternoon and found out that we have to pay the last two years licence fees, a huge amount of money which we don't have, for which again I gave thanks. We got away with nearly six years which would have been a whole lot more, what a blessing.

So in all my worry and concern, God met me at the end of my upset and allowed me to see the situation for what it was, a blessing. And although we are once again in that horrible place of watching every last cent, I am beyond worrying because I realised that God has looked after us the whole way through, why would he suddenly stop now when the need was more dire.

Thank You Lord Jesus, for being with us, even when we did not acknowledge You were there, for Your constant blessings that have taken us five years to realise. Thank You for this learning curve and for showing me that You are always close, at the time I most needed to see this truth. You are an awesome God and I will love You forever. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

BACK SEAT!

Galatians 3:26-28 (NKJV)
Sons and Heirs
26 For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Many believe if they surrender their lives that's it, they have a free ticket into heaven without any further to do. Well, sorry to be a bubble burster, but that is not exactly true.

You see, giving your life is just one part of a special journey, before baptism, to that awesome place of eternal hope called 'Heaven'. It is part of a process that should bring us closer to a wonderful relationship with Jesus Christ. I say should because when we choose to be baptized, it is because of a desire that God implants into our hearts after we have surrendered our lives to Him and accepted Him as our Redeemer.

I am able to say this because I was guilty of doing the lawful deed that the church required. I only gave my life and believed it was all that was required. I continued to live the way I always did, of the world, however, I suffered conviction like never before, and did not understand why.

You see, you can't give to God and expect to take back, it does not work. He takes what you give Him and holds onto it forever, and as He holds He works. His ways are not like that of man and so every time you step out of line, He lets you know supernaturally. He then guides you the right way. We can choose to accept His way or we can continue on our own.

I, for quite some time, held onto what I thought was right. Consequently, I kept on suffering on my own with no way of relieving the stress. I never read my bible or sought any help from the church because I stopped attending, as there seemed to be better ways to spent my time. My life continued the same, without any of the blissful fruit that God so wanted me to enjoy from Him.

God placed the appropriate people of His choice in my way. In time, conviction drove me closer to God and I started attending church again because of an inner desire to seek what I did not really understand. I started to understand my convictions and where they were coming from. Instead of following the ways of man, I adopted a new way of life, the life that Jesus was so desperately wanting me to lead. It was not long before the fruits of righteousness started tasting so good, to the point where I wanted them more and more.

I grew closer and closer until being baptized in the Holy Spirit did not come as a command from the church, but rather as a deep desire of my heart. I desired to die of old and be born into newness with God. I needed to be faithful to Him and not lawful to man as before.

Now, when I stumble, I love the conviction I suffer because it helps me to refocus on where and what and how I should be, and God's loving arms have become a place I love to rest after a fall.

So, the moral of this story is, don't stop just because you believe the road ends and you do not need to move on, on the contrary, the road does not end at all, it just gets narrower and you need to focus more and keep your eyes on it. It gets narrower as you move closer to God, but as it thins out, so God grows bigger in you as He takes over the controls of your life. He becomes your driver so that you can take a back seat and trust in His lead.

Lord Jesus, thank You for being the driver of my life, and for allowing me to be the passenger I need to be. However, please forgive me for the times when I try to step in and take over again, and as I do, put me back into the backseat where I belong, in Jesus name I pray, amen.